Pink Lemonade
by Pneumatic
Summary: A day in the park on a picnic becomes much more interesting when Piper Chapman meets a dark haired stranger with a frisbee
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **This is my first attempt. Sorry it is a bit short, but I'm trying to set the scene. Please let meknow if you like it, thanks. Then I will carry on if people want more.**

It was Summertime and hot and Piper was with her best friend Polly Harper.

'Would you like a drink Polly?' asked Piper offering her a drink.

'Yes please Piper' said Polly taking the drink of Pink Lemonade.

But then, the glass was knocked out of Piper's hand by a frisbee.

'Shit, sorry about that' A tall dark haired, green eyed goddess of a woman said, walking up to them.

Piper felt herself get very hot under the collar staring at this raven haired temptress. Her voice sounded silky smooth and her smile was blowing Piper's mind. Polly was looking at Piper like she was a weirdo.

'Here' Polly said, thrusting the Frisbee at the woman.

'I'm Alex' the woman said ignoring Polly and offering her hand to Piper. 'You're hot, can I call you some time'

Piper giggled, ignoring the look of shock on poor Polly's face.

'Is that a yes then sexy?' Alex said raising an eyebrow, winking and smirking.

'Yes it is' said Piper, taking Alex's cell and inputting her number.

'I'll call you at 8pm sharp, be ready' Alex said, walking away, her ass looking perfect in her special leather jeans.

'What just happened?' Polly said taking a bit of chicken leg.

'I think cupid's arrow may have hit' Piper replied blushing hard.

Polly shook her head and took a mouthful of coleslaw smiling, thinking how crazy her friend.

Piper sipped her pink lemonade, thinking how excited she was for Alex's call later that night. She would make sure she was ready, she needed to know more.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

 **OMG, thank yiou so much for all the follows and likes, I really luv you all for it. This chapter is longer, hope you like it and I am always team Vauseman!**

It was 8pm and Piper's phone was ringing. She picked it up, knowing it would be Alex. 'Hello' she said, with a big grin on her face.

'Hey kid, glad to see you picked up. You won't regret it'

'Why is that then?'

'Because I'm asking you on a date'

'Oh is that so?'

'Yes it is so' said Alex smirking and laughing

'So where would this date be?' Piper said, curious where the date would be.

'That's a surprise, just make sure that you bring a bathing suit'

'I think it's too early for that' Piper said clearly thinking it was too early and giggling.

'Believe me, you won't regret it' Alex said sexily, smirking again.

'Is that Celine Dion playing in the background?'

'It sure is, Piper giggled. 'Titanic always makes me cry, it's a true love story, imagine having a soul mate like that?'

'Like Celine Dion?'

'No you fool, I meant like Jack and Rose in the film?'

'We went to see that at the movie theater, but my mom had just come off her Valium so we had to leave early.' Alex said emotionally

'Oh gosh, that sounds rough babe'

'Babe?'

'Yea don't you like it?'

'I love it' she grinned

'Good. Is your mom off the meds now though?'

'She has her good and bad days. The bad days are hard because she won't wash or get out of bed'

'Oh goodness, you've had a terrible time babe.'

'Meeting you has cheered me up though' the raven haired woman said, remembering how Piper made her feel. Really lovely and soft.

'I had better go' said Piper, before this gets too hot too soon, plus my dinner of steamed fish and roasted organic vegetables is ready. She laughed.

'Sounds scrumptious' said Alex hungrily. 'Where's my invite? 'I've got a bag of Cheetos'

'All in good time Lex' Piper said

'Lex?'

'Yea, I think it's cute, it suits you' she smiled

'Ok kid, I'll let you have that' but I don't do cute.

'What do you do then?'

'Hot blondes with blue eyes' she grinned

Piper can feel herself being turned on already. It was captivating this strange power the raven haired seductress was having on her.

'I tell you what kid, tomorrow, how about you grab your bathing suit and we go for ice cream first?'

'Is it organic?' Piper asked

'No, but what I want to do to you is' Alex smirked.

The next day they met at the ice cream parlour and split a hot fudge Sunday. Alex grabbed the spoon and dribbled ice cream down the front of piper's top.

'Hey! Asshole, what was that for? This is silk! '

'Sorry', Alex smirked, 'i can lick it off if you like?'

Piper giggled, 'what, in front of everyone?'

'I'm game if you are?'

Piper shook her head and snatched Alex's glasses from her face, putting them

On. 'Gosh you are blind' she laughed

'I can still see that you look damn fine' Alex said, grabbing them back and taking her hand and leading her into the restroom. Once in the stall, they had sex for half an hour. Piper had four orgasms. 'Wow, you are so good at this' piper said breathless.

'You ain't seen nothing yet kid' Alex said smirking and raising an eyebrow and winking.

Piper realised this was something special. She'd never felt this way about someone before, it was a real connection.

'All this work has made me hungry' Alex grinned.

'Work?'

'No you're right, I enjoyed it so it didn't seem like work, let's go get some hot dogs'

They find a hot dog stand near the swimming pool.

'You've got mustard on your nose' Piper said pointing out the mustard on Alex's nose to her and then licking it off.

Alex was feeling very turned on in her skinny jeans and doc martens. Let's get to the pool, I've got something to show you.

Once there piper sees the whole area has been lit up with candles. 'Oh my god, this is amazing' piper beamed, her blue pools cartwheeling.

'Piper Chapman, you rock my world, will you be my girlfriend?'

'Gosh! Oh yes please!' She said squealing.

After an hour's worth of total sex, they decided to go clothes shopping.

'I love that Ramones t-shirt in the window' piper said, 'let's get it'

Piper picked one off the display and went to the changing room to try it on. Alex snuck in after her. 'What are you doing?' Piper gasped.

'Thought I could help undress you' Alex said, pulling off Piper's skinny jeans.

'I only need to take my top off to try the t-shirt'

'Yea but I've got a bonus prize for you' Alex smirked.

Piper smirked back harder.

After 20 minutes of sex, piper was pulling on her top when someone burst in as they had forgot to lock the door. It was was Polly. She gasped in shock at the state of undress piper and Alex where in.

'You're the frisbee girl' Polly said

'Yea, wanna join in?' Alex laughed and smirked.

'Goodness me no. I am straight and have a boyfriend called Pete' said Polly clasping her chest.

'Figures' Alex said, pinging Piper's bra strap.

'Yea and I saw you with a girlfriend at the park, so how do you explain that? Polly said accusing her of cheating with Piper.

'Yes Lex, how do you explain that?' Piper asked asking Alex for an explanation

Alex realised she was suddenly in a lot of hot water.


	3. Chapter 3

'Shit' Alex mutters.

'Come on Lex, who was this girl' Piper asks, keen to know who the girl was.

'She's not a girlfriend, just a girl I play Frisbee with sometimes'

'Is that euphemism' Polly giggles.

'I don't appreciate your sense of humor in this matter' Piper says and I wish I could convey how sad it makes me that you're making a joke out of this poll.

'Sorry' Polly mumbles

'You do believe me don't you kid?' Alex says 'since I met you, I can't think of anything else, it's like I'm on another planet half the time, it's mental'

'Good mental?' Piper says

'Yea of course'

Polly rolls her eyes. 'Fine then love birds, I'm going to get a non fat, double shot soya milk, sugar free hazelnut latte, anyone else want anything?'

Alex giggles, 'this is why I just drink beer' she kicks Piper with a converse playfully. 'I've got to get back now, mom is making grits and fresh butter rolls tonight, but I'll text you ok babe?'

'Ok' Piper replies grinning. Pleased she is now Alex's girlfriend.

It is the evening and Piper has been watching her phone for messages and then Alex's suddenly appears.

 **To Pipes**

 **Hey kid**

 **To Alex**

 **Hey yourself**

 **To Pipes**

 **Lol, miss me yet?**

 **To Alex**

 **Of course. How was dinner, delicious?**

 **To Pipes**

 **Yea, but not as tasty as a certain blue eyed blondie**

 **To Alex**

 **Lol, whoever could you mean?**

 **To Pipes**

 **Look in the mirror and you'll see**

Piper is grinning from ear to ear, she cannot explain why this raven haired beauty is having this effect on her. She's never rushed into a relationship like this before and it's making her a little bit afraid, but in a good way, like before you ride a big roller coaster at the theme park. She definitely wants a ticket to this.

 **To Pipes**

 **You still there?**

 **To Alex**

 **Yea, you missing me already?**

 **To Pipes**

 **You wish. But seriously, are you getting this weird connection vibe thing with us? I've never had it before and it's so cool, but really intense.**

 **To Alex**

 **I know what you mean. But it's good right?**

 **To Pipes**

 **The best. How about I pick you up tomorrow lunch and take you somewhere special?**

 **To Alex**

 **I love surprises, see you then, can't wait**

 **To Pipes**

 **Me too babe. Night.**

Now all Alex had to do was get rid of Sylvie before Piper found out. She didn't want anything to spoil this, this was something else altogether.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex called Sylvie early next morning because she needed to break up with her. She couldn't have anything spoiling what she has going with the blondie. She was sitting in a bar looking at her phone when her lion maned friend Nicky walked in.

'What up Vause? Not seen you around for a few days'

'Hey Nichols, yea I've been busy.'

'Been slamming a lot of pussy?' she said, wiggling her eyebrow

'Fuck you Nichols. Actually I think I've met someone special this time.' Alex said telling her how special piper was.

'Her name is Piper'

'What a strange name' Nicky smirked and giggled.

'What she like?'

Alex showed her Piper's picture on Facebook as she and piper were now Facebook friends and both had updated their relationship status to 'in a relationship'.

'Fuck Vause, she's some hot piece of blonde ass' Nichols smirked and giggled 'wouldn't mind a go on that myself'

'Back off bitch' Alex said, calling Nicky a bitch, 'she's mine'

'Jesus Vause, I was just kidding' she said, running a hand through her bushy hair, 'she's all yours'

'I know' Alex said smiling broadly, it felt nice that Piper was all hers and they were going on a special lunch soon.

'Anyway, as you're taken, more pussy for me' Nicky said, wiggling her eyebrow.

Alex saw the time and rushed off to collect piper. She had 4 beers so was feeling buzzy already.

She took piper back to hers. She had prepared a special lunch of roast chicken with tagliatelle and a fricassee of wild mushrooms. With apple tarte Tatin with cream for dessert. Alex wasn't much of a cook so had to carefully follow a recipe book someone had once given her for Christmas, but she wanted it to be special for her new girlfriend Piper Chapman.

'You're an amazing cook and a great lover' piper grinned, thinking how lucky she was that the raven haired woman was her girlfriend.

'Thanks kid shall we do something else with this cream now' Alex said smirking.

Things got hot and heavy as they licked cream off each other and then went in the shower to clean off. Piper had 5 orgasms, no one could make her cum like Alex.

She looked around Alex's bedroom, there was a large bottle of lube on the bedside table and it made her gasp. She saw lots of travel books too, she picked up one and leafed through it briefly.

'Tell me about Oregon?' She said wistfully as she lay across Alex's bed. So Alex did as they giggled and kissed and made love again. It was a beautiful day.

Their dream like state was soon broken when Sylvie barged in as they were eating PB and J sandwiches.

'Who the fuck is this?' Sylvie raged, punching piper in the head.

'Nooooooo!' Alex screamed, tossing Sylvie onto the couch and rushing over to the blondie.

'Pipes, sweetheart, are you ok?'

'Whaa...?' Piper said dazed and rubbing her jaw.

'You're with this dumb bitch instead of me?' Sylvie spat, asking Alex if she was with Piper.

'Yes I am' Alex said, confirming she was, 'if you touch her again, then God help me, I will not be held responsible for my actions Sylvia'

'You've broken my heart Alex' she said heartbroken. 'I wish you could understand how sad this has made me. No one can love you like me. You'll have blood on your hands now. Mark my words'

She left sobbing.

'She loves you so much' piper says to Alex, 'so why pick me?'

'Because she's not you' Alex says telling Piper Sylvie can't be her 'no one can ever be'


	5. Chapter 5

Piper is lying in bed and staring the ceiling in Alex's bedroom. It has a weird stain on it and she doesn't want to think about what it is. She feels amazing after last night, she can't believe how Alex can make her orgasm, the way she makes her inner flower feel. Alex walks into the bedroom with a tray of breakfast.

'Hope you like fruit loops'

'You were the one dating Sylvie' Piper giggles.

'Good one kid. Anyway, the milk might be a bit questionable, my sense of smell is a little diminished after a white water rafting accident last year'. She turns away, trying to hide the tears.

'Oh Lex, that sounds awful'

She nods, 'the doctors did what they could, but in the end, it wasn't enough'. She sniffles and Piper kisses her on the cheek.

They enjoy a cup of coffee and piper asks alex what they are going to do today. 'what are we going to do today?' piper asks alex, biting her lip.

'It turns me on when you bite your lip' alex says to piper, telling her how much it turns her on.

Piper giggles, her blue pools glistening and cartwheeling, 'so what are you going to do about it?'

'Come here and I'll show you' alex says, telling her to come here.

They make slow and tender love for an hour, piper has seven orgasms and she cannot believe how this raven haired temptress can do this to her. Her body hasn't stopped tingling since the day she met her.

'what you thinking kid?' alex asks grinning

'Wouldn't you like to know' piper grins back

'That's why I asked' alex grins again

Piper giggles.

'You didn't answer the question Pipes'

'what question?'

'Really?"

'Sorry, I have a rubbish memory'

'Never mind, I better go, I have to give diane her medication' Alex says, telling piper she has to give diane her medication, 'but let's go to Denny's later and then we can carry on where we just left off'.

'wouldn't miss it for the world Lex' piper smirks, her blue pools dancing in the sunlight.

She doesn't want to say anything yet, but she's pretty sure she's falling in love with Alex. Alex Vause. 'Piper Vause' she whispers to herself. She can't wait for Denny's.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex and Piper were sitting having coffee the next day. Piper was trying to decide on a way that she could tell Alex of her true feelings, but didn't want to scare her off because a badass like Alex Vause may have been scared off. After Piper had finished her non fat, soya latte with a shot of sugar free caramel syrup Alex said she had a surprise to show her outside.

'Hey kid, I gotta a surprise to show you outside' the raven haired temptress told the blondie.

Piper's blue pools rippled with excitement and thoughts tossed around her head as to what it could be. It always hurt a bit when that happened, the doctors had told her that it was on account of the fact that Piper had more room in her head than most people. Carol her mother hadn't hung around long enough to ask the doctor what he had meant, she had simply dragged Piper out, muttering about 'needing a second opinion' and 'foreign doctors'.

Once outside, Alex showed Piper the surprise- a baby pink Vespa with two helmets.

'Whaddya reckon kid?' she asked piper what she reckoned.

'Oh Lex, you'll look so sexy riding that thing' Piper smirked.

'I'm not just gonna ride it kid, I'm gonna race it' Alex smirked too.

'Race it' piper gasped, 'but that's sounds dangerous' she said, telling Alex it was dangerous.

'All the best things are' Alex smirked again, her mouth hurting a little.

Piper couldn't believe this raven haired beauty was hers.

'But how did you afford it?' she asked, wondering how Alex afforded it'

'A travelling circus was in town and I did some work for them' Alex grinned/

'What sort of work?' piper asked, wondering on what work Alex could do at a circus.

'Just some maintenance on the rides and stuff, I'm good with my hands'

'I know' Piper said turning cherry red and telling Alex she knew. 'You're going to look so sexy' she kissed Alex, but part way through noticed that Alex's nose was running a bit. When they finished, she took a Kleenex out of her pocket and offered Alex one. 'Alex..'

'Yea Pipes'

'The snot…not sexy'

'Gotcha Kid' she smirked, whilst raising an eyebrow and giggling. 'Now, let me take you for the ride of your life'

Piper couldn't help but feel, she already was.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 **Thank you all for your kind words and support. Please enjoy this.**

Alex has a race tomorrow and Piper is super excited to be seeing her. 'I'm super excited to see you in the race tomorrow' she tells Alex, her eyes gleaming with the excitement.

'I can't wait for you to see me kid'

'You're going to look so sexy in your leather and baby pink helmet, I'm going to struggle to keep my hands off you' she smirks and giggles

'You'll have to try kid, I'll be on the track and you'll get run over otherwise'

Piper giggles.

'I've been meaning to talk to you about something anyway' Piper says.

'Yea?'

'Yea'

'Ok'

'Ok?'

'look kid, I've got practice in ten, can we cut to the chase?' Piper smirks and giggles, her blue pools somersaulting. 'Alex Vause, you rock my world, love has hit me hard, like a brick wall.'

'So what you saying kid?'

'You didn't understand?'

'No, I accidentally put the volume up on my iPod and didn't hear'

'Gosh Lex, I find your clumsiness so sexy, even more sexy than your classic Vause look and classic vause eyebrow and classic vause husky sexy voice and classic voice..'

'I get the picture kid' Alex said, in her classic Vause way

'I love you Alex Vause, when I'm with, I see stars!'

'Well you did bump your head last time kid'

Piper smirks and wiggles her eyebrow. 'you know what I mean Lex. You're the one. I heart you…like really heart you, more than i've hearted anyone in my whole entire life' the love beaming out of her blue pools.

'Hearted? I thought you were a Smith grad?' Alex says in her classic vause way.

'To celebrate, I got you a present' Piper says, giving Alex a present.

Alex opens the box, 'Wow, some doc martens'

'I thought they would go with your other 45 pairs'

'You know what they say kid, a lesbian can never have too many doc martens!'

Piper giggles.

'I better get to practice' Alex says pulling on the baby pink helmet. 'You'll come and cheer me on tomorrow won't you?'

Piper nodded. What Alex didn't know was that she had been cheering Piper's soul since day one. This was it.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

 **I can't believe the follows and likes and reviews. It all means so much to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please leave more, I adore reading them.**

The Vespa's were revving up on the starting line. Just as the starting flag was about to be waved, Piper dashed onto to track.

'Lex, I forgot to give you a good luck kiss Piper said' hurrying over to the pink Vespa.

'Get out of the way you dumb bitch' another one of the competitors yelled.

Piper smirked at them.

She hurried over to Alex. 'Al, don't worry about taking your helmet off, I just wanted to wish you luck, I love you and I'll be waiting for you at the finish line' Suddenly, the rider removed their helmet.

'G'day kid, fancy meeting you here'.

Piper's blue pools cartwheeled as she realized it was Stella, a girl she had eaten kangaroo burgers with when she had done route 66 a few years back.

'Stella!' she exclaimed, recognizing it was Stella.

'Get out the fucking way!' another rider yelled.

'I gotta go Chapman, but I'll see you real soon' she smirked, wiggling her eyebrow and giggling.

Before Piper knew what was happening, she was covered in dust. She hurried off the track coughing and spluttering and wondering what she was going to do about Stella.

A few hours later, Alex turned up.

'Lex! Did you win! I couldn't see you!'

'That's because my race was this morning at the track on the other side of town, Polly told me you had come here…and yea kid, I did win' she said her very very green eyes sparkling and glistening and shimmering.

'Oh Lex, I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you'

They went home and Piper gave Alex five and half orgasms, the half was because Alex wasn't sure if she needed a piss or if she was coming.

'Sith Lexth' Piper said

'Why are you talking like a moron pipes?' Alex said smirking and giggling, playfully kicking Piper with her converse.

'I think thy thav a thex injury, thuk' she said, showing Alex the sex injury to her mouth.

'That looks like a blister pipes, not a sex injury and by the way, did you eat garlic for lunch' Alex replied, recoiling a little.

'Thorry' Piper said smirking and running off to brush her teeth.

'I've got to go, I'll call you later' Alex said leaving and feeling a bit ill after smelling the garlic. She threw up outside Piper's front door in the typical Alex Vause way and smirked and raised an eyebrow. 'Sorry kid' she mumbled.

She called Piper later, Piper sounded breathless.

'Pipes, what were you doing?' Alex asked, asking Piper what she was doing.

'I was making tea' Piper giggled

'Oh yea…' Alex said, 'I know the sort of tea you mean….I make good tea..'

'No you don't, I've tried it, it's vile'

'I mean tea, tea….' She said smirking and grinning.

'I was actually making tea Lex, I have no idea what the fuck you are on about to be honest. I've got to go now, I don't want to over brew it' she hung up and returned to the kitchen where Stella was sipping tea.

'Thanks for agreeing to see me Chapman'

'What are you doing here?' Piper asked, asking what Stella was doing there.

'I've opened a coffee shop, it's called 'Eppir''

Piper giggled, 'is that an Australian word?'

'They speak English there Chapman' she replied rolling her eyes and smirking and laughing.

'What does it mean then?' Piper said, her blue pools rippling with confusion.

'It's an anagram of your name….'

'But it doesn't have a C, or a H, or an A, or a….'

'Your first name- P-I-P-E-R'

'Oh! Is that how you spell it?' Piper smirked, kicking Stella in the shin playfully.

'Ow, that fucking hurt!' Stella said as she was hurt.

'Sorry, I forgot I had my steel toe cap boots on' Piper smirked.

'The coffee shop was for you Pipes. Because I realize, I love you!'

Piper gasped. Things had now got very interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

 **I cannot believe some of the messages I've received for this ff. It is so amazing to see how much people are enjoying this. Please keep leaving messages and reviews. Thanks**

Piper was babysitting Fin for Polly. Alex turned up. 'Why have you got the baby? And eurgh, it smells like he's shit himself'

'He has Alex, he is a baby, that is what they do' Piper said rolling her eyes and smirking.

'So what's your excuse?' Alex replied smirking harder.

'That was just the one time Lex, I was completely out of it and didn't realise I had voided my bowels, you said you wouldn't bring that up again' Piper replied emotionally.

'I need to go to the bathroom, can you please hold Fin' she said asking Alex if he could hold Fin.

'Not a chance, just stick him on the couch' Alex said, nudging Piper playfully with her shoulder and knocking Fin out of her hands.

'Lex!' Piper squealed as Fin landed on the floor with a thud and began to cry.

'He landed on the rug, he'll be fine' Alex replied rolling her eyes.

Piper scooped him up and cradled him. 'Can you please hold him, I'm busting for a pee'

'Fine' Alex said holding Fin. He was still crying so she found a mickey mouse toy and threw it at him, it made him smile and it suddenly made Alex realise how much she loved him and wanted children with Piper.

Piper returned from the bathroom and saw Alex passed out on the bed with Fin drawing a moustache on her face.

She giggled and smirked. 'Lex' she said, waking her up, 'I think your fin's favourite'

'Whaaa? They're coming they're coming'

'What? were you dreaming?'

'Oh, yea must have been…I dreamt lesbian Aliens were taking over the world'.

Piper giggled, her blue pools cartwheeling in the neon strip light. 'You're so funny lex, you have such a vivid imagination, it turns me on' she said biting her lip and staring at the raven haired goddess before her.

'Your lip biting is turning me on' Alex replied seductively.

They kissed passionately and then Piper remembered Finn still needed changing.

'Well Polly's picking him up in an hour, I guess we could leave it until then?' she said, her blue eyes sparkling like diamonds.

'Having fin has made me realise' something, Alex said, still not noticing the Freddie Mercury moustache that Fin had drawn on her.

'What's that babe'

'I want children too'

'Oh Lex!' Piper said. 'But it's too soon for us' she said, telling Alex it was too soon.

'I don't mean right now jackass' Alex said, with her usual Vause charm. 'I mean like maybe in a couple of years time'

'You mean you can still see us together then?' Piper gasped as she tied the laces on her doc martens and tucked her skinny jeans into them.

'Yea, can't you?' said Alex, scratching her head in that typical Vause way. 'I think I need to change my shampoo' she grumbled.

Finn ran up to Alex and dribbled on her knee. 'You little shit' Alex said.

'Don't use that word in front of him Lex, say something else instead, like son of a bitch, that will be too long for him to remember'

Alex smiled, Piper said the smartest things, she would never have thought of anything like that, it was so obvious she was a smith grad.

'I heart you Piper Elizabeth Chapman'

'I heart you do Alexis Vause'

'That isn't my first name you jackass'

Piper giggled and smirked, her very blue eyes dancing. 'Alexander?'

'Fuck's sake Piper, you have no idea do you!'

She shrugged, 'What's a name when we have what we have?' she said sexily.

'What's that then?'

'A soul mate love connection'

Alex smirked and kissed Piper on the lips. Their tongues danced the samba and she felt alive.

Meanwhile Piper's phone was ringing, it was Stella. She left a voicemail:

'G'day Chapman ya drongo, I've got something important to tell you, so don't be a sook and call me back ya dumb sheila'. She grinned as she hung up, she had a special surprise for Piper Chapman.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

 **OMG, your reviews are totes amazeballs. So thank you once again for the kind words and support. It means the absolute world to me. I adore you all so much.**

Piper's blue pools wandered along the raven-haired seductresses bookcase. She couldn't believe how well read and intelligent this goddess was and Piper was fortunate enough to call her, her girlfriend and sometimes 'Lex'.

Alex walked in from the kitchen with a beer in each hand.

'Oh Lex, I don't really feel like a beer' Piper said, telling Alex she didn't want a beer. 'Do you have some lacto free milk at all?'

'Both the beers are for me' Alex replied, taking a sip from each bottle, 'are you lactose intolerant now _as well_ as everything else?' Alex said rolling her eyes and smirking and raising a well-sculpted devilish eyebrow.

'Yes I am, it's a real thing, it gives me explosive diarrhea if I have lactose products'

'But we just had ice cream earlier' Alex said in that typical Alex Vause way that Piper found oh so irresistible.

'I know, so if you need the bathroom, you may want to give it ten minutes' Piper said smirking, her blue pools cartwheeling.

Alex could feel her guts convulsing at the thought. For all Piper's airs and graces, past experience had taught that Piper could certainly create some eye stinging concoctions in the bathroom.

'I was just looking at all of your books' Piper said, looking at all of Alex's books, 'you're so intelligent, I can't believe you've read _all_ the Harry Potter's, including the long ones…and wow, you've got the _whole_ Famous Five collection…' Piper's blue pools danced the fox trot at the thought of how intelligent her girlfriend was.

'Not just a pretty face, eh kid?' Alex said doing a half smirk and giggling in a badass Vause way. 'As someone very wise once said: 'When you are missing someone, time seems to move slower, and when I'm falling in love with someone, time seems to be moving faster'

Piper thought she was going to burst at how clever her girlfriend was, no one could have been as perfect for her as the raven-haired goddess. This was love. Real deep love.

'Oh Lex, is that Nietzsche?'

Alex shook her head, 'no kid, someone more intuitive: Taylor Swift'

Piper kissed Alex hard, over come with desire for this sexy woman, who was clever and hot and oh so romantic. After fifteen minutes she pulled away as her phone was ringing. It was Stella again. She sent it straight to voicemail.

'Who was that?' Alex asked, wondering who it was.

'Oh, just some dingo fucker?'

'I had one of those around here the other day selling Avon'

'I know, obviously green cards are easier to come by these days' Piper said giggling. 'You know Lex, you were so great with Finn the other week and I was wondering, would you want kids of your own?'

Alex couldn't handle it, the pressure and the heartache; she couldn't do it, she needed to see Nichols.

'I can't do it, I need to see Nichols' she said, grabbing the keys to Vera the Vespa and leaving Piper to rush to the bathroom with severe stomach cramps. 'Make sure you spray the pine scented stuff when you're done' she yelled after her, with that typical Vause charm.

It was 2am and she raced to Nichols'. After forty minutes of buzzing, Nichols opened the door. 'Fuck's sake Vause, take the hint, _I'm busy'_

'I need to talk, Piper wants a baby'

Nichols giggled, 'Look Vause, I'm fist deep in pussy here' she said, wiping her hand on her t-shirt and smirking and wiggling her eyebrows, 'if you don't want a kid just tell blondie that, or do some smack or something, I don't know, but I'm busy, I'll see you in the morning' she said chuckling and slamming the door in Alex's face.

Alex laughed to herself: typical Nichols. So she got back on the Vespa and made her way back home. She would need to tell Piper the truth, she wasn't sure she could deal with kids, even though she deeply loved Finn to bits after babysitting him for fifteen minutes last week, she still wasn't sure she could deal with it.

When Alex got back, Piper was watching re-runs of Jerry Springer, fist pumping the air whilst yelling 'J-E-R-R-Y, J-E-R-R-Y' at some unfortunate redneck hick. Alex was overcome with desire. She rushed over to Piper and kissed her. She moved her hand 45 degrees and unhooked Piper's bra, then moved her hand back 12 degrees and grabbed her nipple. Her other hand was at a right angle and circled Piper's clit and she cursed herself for forgetting the trigonometry lessons from her math lessons, because she couldn't remember if she needed to move another 5 degrees to the left or right to send Piper over the edge, but it seemed to work as Piper's flower blossomed around her.

'Wow' Piper said clearly having been wowed. 'What was that in aid of?'

'I've decided kid, if you want children, I do too, I love you too much to say no'. Her green eyes glistened like a football field.

For once, Alex couldn't wait for the future.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: To the person that messaged and asked what my favorite chips were, they're Cheetos, totally and forever.**

 **I'm sitting here in Dunkin Donuts with my hazelnut latte being such a uni girl. My boyfriend dumped me earlier, but at least I have Vauseman to cheer me up. :)**

 **Love you all xoxoxo**

Piper lay back on the bed, thoroughly exhausted from four hours of passionate love-making. 'Where did you learn to do that Lex?' she asked, her blues pools somersaulting in delight in a post orgasmic haze.

'In women's prison' Alex said giggling and smirking.

'Oh Lex, it's so sexy being with a law-breaker, what did you go to prison for? Assault? Attempted murder? Kidnapping?'

'Errr…overdue parking fine…I went in there a girl and came out a woman' the raven-haired goddess replied emotionally.

'Hush those sweet lips' Piper said giggling and smirking.

'What's going on here blondie' said Nicky walking in asking Piper what was going on.

Piper gasped, her blue pools whirring 'Nicky, try banging the door next time, before you come in' Piper said very angrily indeed.

'How about I bang you instead?' Nicky said, telling Piper she wanted to bang her and wiggling her eyebrows

Piper was shocked at the cheek of the bushy haired woman and looked to Alex for support, but Alex had rushed to the bathroom.

'Lex, you ok?' Piper asked staring into the toilet bowl, the waft of acrid Vindaloo hitting her nostrils in a rather inconvenient way.

Alex looked up at Piper, 'I think I'm pregnant' she said, her green eyes dimmed.

'But we only had one round of IVF'

'Once is all it takes' said Alex, in that typical Vause way.

 **9 months later**

Baby Maud was crying again.

'For fucks sake Piper, what is her problem' Alex snapped angrily.

'Lex, Maud is our child, try and be patient'

'And what the fuck kind of name is Maud?'

'We had this discussion Lex' Piper said holding back the tears, 'she's my mom's, sisters, aunts, cousins, uncles, friend. I owed it to her. She meant so much to me'

'I'm sorry Pipes' Alex said, telling Piper she was sorry. 'How about I go get Maud and then we can enjoy Pop tarts'

'Go tarts!' Piper said fist pumping the air gigging and smirking.

Maud had shit herself. Alex was not impressed. 'Fuck's sake Maud, you've got an old person's name and you smell like one, can you say, life long therapy for mommy?' she said, wretching and collapsing as she saw the contents of Maud's diaper.

Piper heard the sound of crashing and came rushing into the nursery to see Alex curled up in the fetal position on the floor.

'Lex, what happened?' Piper said, asking Alex what had happened.

'I can't do it Pipes' Alex said, Maud and me…'

'Maud loves you though Lex, here.' She said handing Maud to Alex.

Maud cooed and chewed her fingers and giggled and threw up on Alex's shoulder. Alex smiled, overcome with love and warmth and some baby vomit.

As she glanced over at the shit filled diaper and Piper, she realised that rhymed and that this was perfect.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:**

 **Hi, OMG, I've had such terrible writers block, but my bestie arranged a trip to the zoo for me to try and cheer me up and hanging out in the chimp enclosure really gave me the jolt of inspiration I needed, so I'm back.**

 **Please leave comments, I adore them and they inspire me to continue my free writing.**

Alex and Piper were shopping for some new clothes and toys for Maud. Alex found a playhouse that she thought Maud would like and climbed inside.

'Alexis Vause, will you get out of there' Piper said, rolling her eyes and smirking, telling Alex to get out of the playhouse.

'My name isn't Alexis, how many times!' Alex said, telling Piper it wasn't her name, whilst trying to dislodge her head, which had become stuck in the upstairs window of the playhouse.

'Ma'am' The fat shop assistant said, 'Does your friend have….some behavioral issues?'

'She's not my friend, she's my life partner' Piper snorted, her blue pools whirring.

'Ok' the woman said 'but does she need help?'

'Help?'

'Or is it you that's got some….issues?'

'Huh?'

'Fuck's sake Pipes, she's asking if we're retarded' Alex said haughtily, yanking the window out of it's frame as she tried to free herself from the confines of the play house.

'How dare you!' Piper snapped prissily. 'I went to Smith and my partner used to be the C.E.O. of an international drug cartel, so you know where you can stick your attitude' Piper said tears streaming down her cheeks. 'We won't be spending our money in here, come on Lex, let's go somewhere our custom will be valued'

Alex scrambled out of the playhouse in that typical Alex Vause way 'Fuck her Pipes, let's go home for some quality time' she said winking and smirking and rolling her eyes in that way that Piper could not resist. The raven haired goddess certainly had her way to make her hot under the collar.

'Let's stop at the grocery store first, I want you cook you a special dinner for being some an amazing lover and having the complete collection of Twilight books'.

Alex waited in the car whilst Piper bought the ingredients for a special meal.

When they got back to the house they made love for 2 hours, only stopping due to the leak in the roof.

'It's dripping straight into Maud's playpen Lex, we should fix it'

'She thinks it's a game, it's fine' Alex said in that typical Vause way, her green eyes cartwheeling.

'It's landing on her head Lex'

'Shhhhhhh, hush those sweets lips lover' Alex said licking her lips.

'No Lex, I'm taking Maud to the other room' Piper said, leaving Alex and taking Maud to the other room.

A receipt from the grocery store fell out of Piper's pocket. Alex picked it up and read it:

'Tampons, duck fat, prune juice, organic toothpaste, organic toilet roll, organic shampoo, organic bread, organic diapers, berlotti beans.' Alex picked up the phone to Nichols.

'What now Vause, I'm plunging some hot pussy as we speak' the bushy haired woman said.

Alex giggled. Typical Nichols. 'You know what Berlotti beans are?'

'The fuck! Are you high again Vause?'

'No you jackass, Piper is cooking them for dinner'

'You want my advice? Order Pizza' she said snickering and hanging up.

She had a point. Candles and a double crust was just what she and Piper needed to rekindle their romance. She knew what she needed to do.

Meanwhile in the other room, Piper's phone was ringing. It was Stella.

 **AN:**

 **Don't worry guys, Stella won't break up Vauseman, I have other plans for her lol. Just wait and see lol. ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: My muse seems to have left the building, but I have managed to force this chapter out because I thought that you guys deserved it. I'm also thinking of doing a series of one shots, based on prompts from nursery rhymes, so look out for that soon :)**

It had been almost a year and half since Piper and Alex had first met that day in the park with the Frisbee.

'Can you believe it's been almost a year and a half since we met that day in the park with the Frisbee?" Piper said to Alex.

'I know kid, time flies when you're having fun' the raven haired goddess said to Piper, her green pools fluttering in the breeze.

They were sat in the very same park where they had met. Alex was pushing Maud on the swings.

'Careful Lex, Maud is still struggling with her bearings' Piper said, watching Maud's head bob up and down and a little sick dribble down her top.

'She's fine, it will help with her cerebral development' Alex said, pushing the swing with her foot a little harder than she intended and sending Maud flying into the air. Piper screamed. But they soon giggled in relief as Maud had landed head first into the sandpit in that typical Vasue way.

'That's my girl' Alex said beaming proudly and smirking and wriggling her eyebrows.

They wandered down towards the grassy banks and unpacked the picnic that Piper had prepared for them. 'I got us some organic bread, organic chips, organic water, organic turkey, organic cheese, organic olives, organic mustard and organic plastic cutlery and organic paper plates to eat it with'.

'You really do think of everything' Alex said smirking in that typical Vause way.

Piper giggled in delight, still not believing after all this time that this green eyed seductress was all hers.

'I've got something for you' Alex said, handing the blondie a Frisbee.

Piper gasped. 'A new Frisbee!' she squealed.

'Flip it over' Alex said, taking a bite of her sandwich and remembering she hated, bread, turkey, cheese and mustard, aswell and olives and chip.

On the underside of the Frisbee was a familiar diamond ring.

'Piper Chapman' Alex said, getting down on one knee, 'you to me are everything, the sweetest song, that I can sing, oh baby, to you I guess i'm just a clown that..'

'Lex why are you singing, I don't get it?' Piper said, not getting it.

'Sorry, what I'm saying is, will you be Piper Vause?'

'OMG Lex, I couldn't think of anything more amazing! But this is my grandmother's ring and she said she would never give it up until the day she died' Piper said, looking confused.

'Oh yea kid, bad news, your grandmother passed away yesterday'

After an hour of Piper's uncontrollable sobbing, Piper and Alex remembered they had left Maud in the sandpit. They ambled over and spotted her still there, giggling to themselves at how cute she looked.

Piper could not have been happier, she just needed for Stella to stop calling her.

When they got home, Piper cooked a special meal and then they made love passionately on the chest freezer. Piper had seven orgasms. Once she regained her breath and toweled herself off, she realised that she couldn't have been happier.


	14. Chapter 14

AN

This has been a special journey, thanks all.

Piper Vause had been Piper Vause for 12 months now and it felt fantastic. Maud was growing before her very eyes and her little family unit was just perfect. Almost on cue, Maud began screaming from her room.

'Lex it's your turn to see to her' Piper Vause said, kicking Alex Vause under the covers.

'Can't move, too tired' Alex said not bothering to open her eyes, in that typical Alex Vause way.

'Lex!' Piper giggled, please, I promise I'll make it worth your while if you do she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

'Pancakes?' Alex said, suddenly animated.

'No silly, sex'

'But I'm hungry, the pancakes would work better for me right now, especially with that organic blueberry jelly, do we have that? And maybe some fruit and yogurt, we got any kumquats?'

Maud's screams were becoming increasingly shrill by now.

'Babe, you know we ran out of Kumquats yesterday, we'll have to pick up some from the store later, but we've got passion fruit and kiwi?'

'Ewwww, kiwi makes my throat go funny, we got any bacon?'

'Only the regular stuff, not the good kind'

'Ahh, Pipes….' Alex said sulkily. 'Well I'm just gonna grab some juice' she said, tossing the covers back and strolling to the kitchen.

Breakfast was a wholesome affair in the end. The women ate avocado on toast, organic natural yogurt with real vanilla and flaked almonds.

Following her second cup of coffee, Piper realised Maud was still crying. 'Oh shit Lex, Maud is still crying, 'can you see to her, my phone is ringing?' she said, noticing her phone was ringing. Alex rolled her eyes and went to attend to Maud. She returned a few minutes later. 'The kid shit herself' she said, holding the diaper arms length away from her.

'That was mom on the phone, some old friend's of the family are coming over for dinner and she wants me to go over and stay the night'

'What?! But Maud has a play date with Albert tomorrow morning' Alex said, dumping the stinky diaper in the trash.

'I'm sorry Lex, but I've got to go'

'Fine' Alex sighed. 'I'm taking Maud to the park, see you later'.

 **VAUSEMANVAUSEMANVAUSEMANVAUSEMANVAUSEMANVAUSEMANVAUSE**

The dinner had been dreadful and her mother had been looking for all sorts of ways to force interaction between her and Cuthbert, who was single and according to her mother, the perfect young man. Carol had shown little regard to Alex and Piper's marriage for the last year and she showed no signs of changing now.

Piper sat in bed staring over at the very expensive hand woven socks that Guatemalan virgins had made. Her mother had given them to her has a belated birthday present. All she could think was that she would have much preferred amazon vouchers, because she really needed a kitchen aid and the candy pink model had been on sale the previous week.

She picked up her phone and called Alex. 'Lex?' she said, noting the screaming of a child in the background.

'Pipes?' I'm a little busy, Maud has puked up her baby puffs' Alex said, glowering at Maud.

'But it's just so terrible here Lex, mom made a three course dinner with lobster and burnt apple parfait with sugar baskets and then she bought me a really expensive gift for my birthday and….well…..I just can't fucking bear it any more…not for a single second.

'Boo fucking hoo Pipes, I'm literally elbow deep in puke here and I'm pretty sure she's just shit herself, too, so excuse me if I'm not too sympathetic'

'You know I love you Lex, right'

'Huh?'

'I love you'

'The lines breaking up…Piper?'

The line went dead, but suddenly it hit Piper. This wasn't perfect, not by a long way, but her Lex and Maud were for keeps and she couldn't be happier. She climbed out of bed and made her way downstairs, maybe there was some apple parfait left….


End file.
